The Forgotten Matrilineal and Women-Led Traditions of India, and Why They Matter for Cultural Healing Today
Featured image: Rajmata Jijabai (Queen Mother of the Maratha Empire)
Note:
This article explores cultural history from a mental-health perspective.
It does not claim that any society was perfect or fully equal.
Its purpose is to highlight parts of South Asian history that are often overlooked, so readers can develop a more grounded and confident relationship with their cultural identity.
Why This History Matters for Identity
Many South Asians grow up hearing only one version of their cultural past, usually centered on restrictions, patriarchy, or inequality. When this is the only narrative someone learns, it can create a subtle sense of shame or distance from their heritage.
But India’s history is not one-dimensional.
It includes matrilineal societies, women who controlled property, and women who led armies. Reintroducing these truths can help readers see their culture with more nuance and dignity.
In therapy, I have seen clients soften in their self-judgment when they learn these stories. One client once shared that discovering the legacy of Rani Chennamma made her rethink what a “traditional Indian woman” actually looked like. Instead of picturing limitation, she began to see lineage, strength, strategy, and resistance. For her, this shift felt like reclaiming something she did not know she had lost.
Moments like these matter. They give people permission to view their culture through a wider, more compassionate lens.
Matrilineal Traditions That Are Rarely Acknowledged
1. The Nair Tradition of Kerala
For centuries, the Nair community followed Marumakkathayam, a matrilineal system where:
property passed through the mother’s line
children belonged to the mother’s extended family
maternal uncles served as household protectors and decision-makers
women held financial and social authority
Women were landowners and estate managers. They were central to family stability and identity.
2. The Khasi and Jaintia Communities of Meghalaya
These communities still practice matriliny today. Their structure includes:
the youngest daughter inheriting the ancestral home
children taking the mother’s clan name
husbands joining the wife’s household
women preserving lineage and property
This model has existed for generations and continues to shape community life.
3. Matrilineal or Maternal-Influenced Traditions Elsewhere
Elements of matrilineal or maternal clan systems were also present in:
coastal Karnataka
parts of coastal Kerala
Himalayan communities in India
several ethnic groups in Nepal
There has never been a single “Indian way.”
The subcontinent’s social systems have always been diverse and adaptable.
Why These Traditions Are Often Forgotten
A few forces contributed to their erasure:
Colonial administrators rarely understood or documented matrilineal systems accurately.
British legal reforms replaced indigenous inheritance rules with male-line property laws.
Western education models rarely discuss South Asia beyond simplified categories.
Modern conversations often focus more on present-day issues than historical context.
This created a picture of Indian society that is incomplete.
India’s Women Warriors and Leaders: Another Missing Story
Alongside matrilineal traditions, India has a long history of women who led armies, protected kingdoms, shaped political strategy, and governed with remarkable vision. These stories rarely appear in mainstream narratives, yet they reveal an identity far richer than the limitations many of us grew up hearing.
1. Rajmata Jijabai (Queen Mother of the Maratha Empire 1598-1674)
Jijabai is one of the most influential women in Indian history. As the mother of Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj, she shaped the moral, cultural, and strategic foundation of the Maratha Empire. She supervised forts, oversaw logistics, guided political decisions, and raised Shivaji with stories of courage, resistance, and statecraft. Many historians consider her the intellectual and emotional architect of the empire.
2. Rani Lakshmibai of Jhansi (1828-1858)
Lakshmibai’s story is iconic, but often simplified. Beyond her bravery in battle, she strengthened civic administration, trained women fighters, and maintained order during political instability. She refused to surrender Jhansi, rode into battle with her infant son tied to her back, and fought with clarity and honor. Her leadership represents courage guided by duty and a deep commitment to justice.
3. Rani Chennamma of Kittur (1778-1829)
Chennamma confronted the British long before major uprisings like 1857. As a young widow, she resisted the Doctrine of Lapse, fortified her kingdom, trained her army, and led one of the earliest organized rebellions against British rule. Her resistance marked the beginning of anti-colonial struggle in southern India and demonstrated political foresight and resilience.
4. Rani Rudramadevi of the Kakatiya Dynasty (Reign: 1259-1289 CE)
A rare female monarch in the 13th century, Rudramadevi ruled as a sovereign queen. She expanded infrastructure, strengthened irrigation, fortified her capital, and led armies against external threats. She rode into battle with her troops, commanded loyalty, and governed with administrative intelligence and military capability.
5. Queen Velu Nachiyar of Sivaganga (1730-1796)
Velu Nachiyar organized India’s first successful armed revolt against the British. After her husband’s death, she spent years building alliances, training in warfare, and gathering intelligence through women-led networks. Her victory was the result of strategic planning, disciplined preparation, and refusal to surrender sovereignty. She is often called India’s first queen to wage war against colonial forces.
6. Rani Padmini / Padmavati of Mewar (Legend dated to 13th–14th century)
Padmavati is remembered in Rajput tradition as a leader who embodied clarity, dignity, and resolve during one of the most difficult periods in Mewar’s history. When Chittor faced an invasion, she is described as guiding the women of the fort through decisions shaped by the extreme realities of warfare at the time.
The act of jauhar, associated with her story, reflected the harsh conditions women confronted during repeated invasions. It was a response to a world where their safety, autonomy, and future were severely threatened. While not something to idealize today, it represented a collective decision rooted in agency, solidarity, and the determination to protect dignity under circumstances that offered no good choices.
Psychologically, Padmavati’s story symbolizes moral clarity in crisis, leadership during collective fear, and the strength people find when they come together in moments of overwhelming uncertainty.
7. Women in the Maratha Empire (1600s-1800s)
Throughout Maratha history, women served as guardians of forts, protectors of resources, negotiators during crisis, and stabilizers of political transitions. They carried confidential messages, secured supplies, oversaw treasuries, and defended territories. Their contributions reveal that leadership and responsibility were shared roles, not limited by gender.
8. Maharani Tarabai (Queen Regent of the Maratha Empire 1675-1761)
Tarabai stepped into leadership during one of the Maratha Empire’s greatest crises: the death of Shivaji and the imprisonment of Sambhaji’s family. She reorganized the army, led sustained military campaigns against the Mughals, and preserved Maratha power during years of instability. Many historians credit her with preventing the collapse of the Maratha state and laying the groundwork for its later resurgence.
9. Ahilyabai Holkar of Malwa (1725-1795)
Ahilyabai is remembered as one of India’s most just and visionary rulers. She promoted trade, built roads and wells, supported artisans, and restored temples across India. Her administration prioritized fairness, accessibility, and stability. Her reign transformed Malwa into a prosperous region and is often upheld as an example of ethical governance rooted in compassion.
These stories show that courage, governance, and cultural protection were never restricted to men. Women played central roles in shaping political and social history.
How These Histories Intersect With Modern Family Traps
Many South Asians grow up hearing phrases like:
“This is how our culture has always been.”
“A woman protects the family’s honor.”
“A good daughter behaves this way.”
These ideas are often presented as ancient truths, but they frequently reflect later trauma, social changes, or colonial influence rather than long-standing cultural norms.
When families reclaim the fact that parts of Indian society were once matrilineal, egalitarian, and led by women, the pressure around honor, silence, and obedience begins to loosen. People can begin to see that these expectations are not timeless cultural laws. They are adaptations born from specific historical circumstances.
This creates room for healthier conversations, more flexible roles, and a more compassionate understanding of identity.
Why Rediscovering This History Helps People Heal
A broader understanding of cultural history:
reduces internalized shame
strengthens identity
increases a sense of belonging
challenges the belief that empowerment must come from the outside
helps families understand where restrictive norms came from
supports more authentic self-expression
For many readers, learning about matrilineal inheritance and women-led kingdoms opens a new sense of possibility. It becomes easier to feel rooted in heritage while embracing personal growth and freedom.
To Learn More
Here are a few accessible starting points:
The Forgotten Queens of India by Devika Rangachari
Rudramadevi (2015 film)
Women Warriors: An Unexpected History by Pamela Toler
Articles on Khasi matriliny in The Indian Express and The Hindu
These resources offer approachable introductions to histories that deserve more attention.
Why These Stories Matter Now
India’s past is more layered than the simplified version many of us heard growing up. It includes matrilineal inheritance, women-led households, scholars, rulers, and warriors who shaped entire regions. These truths do not erase present-day challenges, but they offer a fuller and more balanced understanding of cultural identity.
For many people, reconnecting with this nuance provides a sense of belonging and pride. It helps separate cultural richness from trauma-based patterns that developed later.
It may be helpful to reflect on this:
What parts of your cultural history were you never taught, and how might your understanding of yourself shift if those pieces were included?
A future article will explore how these forgotten histories continue to influence modern South Asian family roles and how couples today navigate the blend of cultural expectation and emotional need.